Why I’m Still Writing When I Don’t Feel Like It

It is no secret that I have been struggling with writing lately. It takes me a lot longer to come up with what to write about. Previously, I could draft a full body of work in less than 10 minutes but lately it has been taking me days, weeks and even months to come up with something new. This is not because I have run out of things to say or things to write about. I still do have things to write about. A lot actually. The difference between now and then is more to do with how I feel than not having what to write.

What do I mean? I once wrote an essay on the relationship between sadness and creativity. The relationship between the two, I concluded, was that it is easier for me to write when I’m sad compared to when I’m happy. It’s easier to give negative feelings or emotions names. It’s easier to describe them. My vocabulary is quite limited when I have to describe happiness but very wide when I have to describe sadness.

This is not because I have experienced more sadness than joy but maybe because when I feel negative emotions, they overwhelm me and I desperately need an outlet so I’m quick to grab my journal. There are many happy moments I haven’t journaled about simply because writing about them wasn’t coming naturally. Did you know that some of the best or widely recognized creatives did their best work in moments of sadness or depression? Sylvia Plath. Van Gogh. Virginia Wolf. That sucks.

So, because I haven’t been sad for a while and I’m definitely not depressed, I am learning to write from a place of Joy. As I was looking at the themes for the Afrobloggers Winter ABC 2023, I looked at this week in particular and it was about “a spark that makes you, you.” After much thought and debating on whether I will take part in the challenge this year after I failed miserably last year, I decided I would try.

I’m writing today because my spark isn’t sadness or depression. I’m writing because the very first time I wrote, I was happy. That’s the spark I’m choosing to light. The one that believes that even happiness can be written in the most beautiful, artistic and creative way. The spark that believes that my best work won’t come from sadness and the one that believes that we all deserve to be happy. We deserve to be happy and creative.

With that said, I’ll be taking part in the Afrobloggers Winter African Blogging Challenge 2023 (Winter ABC) this year. The idea is to write a post every weekday for the month of June. I’m not 100% sure I will make it through all those days but I will do my best. I’m doing this because one of the times I felt amazing about blogging was the last time I seriously took part in the Winter ABC. There was joy then and there will be joy now.

I will put all posts in this challenge in one place so you can find them whenever you need to. I’m also very excited to read from bloggers old and new. It’s aways fun to see the many different ways one theme can be interpreted.

I will be back tomorrow!

Thanks for reading!
Love,
Wonani Xx

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Looking For God, Finding Community (Why You Need Community)

One significant shift in my mindset last year was the value of community. I undervalued the role that being part of a positive community played in one’s growth as a person.

As someone who spent a lot of her life doing things alone, not asking for help, sorting everything else herself and even calming herself down in the middle of a panic attack, community was the last thing on my mind. I never even really thought about it, apart from the blogging community I was a part of. I took so much pride in doing things alone until one day it hit me. If truly I was meant to do things alone, I would have been the only human being in existence on earth. Thankfully that’s not the case because what would I do alone? I can’t even hold a live chicken!

Looking For God, Finding Self

I decided to go on a journey of re-discovery in the middle of last year. At the time, it was more of re-discovering God and less of rediscovering me. During the process of re-discovering God, I found myself disengaging from things I believed were true about myself, My likes, my dislikes, and overall who I was as a person, My personality began to feel a little strange. I didn’t know if certain things were true anymore. I didn’t pay any mind to that initially because my focus was re-discovering God. The lack of clarity surrounding who I was, at the time, seemed to be a distraction.

What I’m Looking Forward To At 24

I never get excited for my birthday. I’m very well accustomed to birthday blues and sadness. I’m no stranger to not wanting to do anything for my birthday and to feeling like, “Eh. It’s just another year.” This year was extremely different. I was very excited about turning 24.

I turned 24 on the 4th of February. Three days before my birthday, someone asked me how old I was and I very quickly said 24. Our conversation went on and I realised I wasn’t 24. “Wait! I lied! I’m not 24.” The person I was talking to gave me a puzzled look and I went on to explain that I actually turn 24 in about three days and we both just laughed about it.

You Can Also Read: Dear 30 Year Old Me

In the past, I never rushed to say my age because I felt I was too young. I suppose this was true because for a long time, I was always the youngest in my friend groups. I’m not excited to say my age because I don’t feel young anymore. I’m excited because I’m really looking forward to 24. I’m just very optimistic of all that is to come.

On my birthday eve, I was telling a couple of friends that I felt like I was entering a new phase of life where things probably won’t be easy but there will be a lot of growing and a lot of peace. I know I’m gonna be stretched this year and you know what? I’m here for it.

You Can Also Read: I Turned 22

At 24, I am giving up on trying to attain balance. I am almost convinced it is not possible. Instead, I will seriously be working on my time management. I am currently working on a number of things and I’m bound to add more to my plate by the time the year is done. I have concluded that time management is the way forward because so far, balance has failed me. I also recently heard that balance equals stagnation. That’s a theory I’d have to explain but it’s what I’m going with.

At 24, I would also like to serve my family more. I have been spending so much time serving other areas of my life and not doing the best job at serving my family. I want to be more present and really have good personal relationships with everyone. I wouldn’t want to serve my church or my job and not serve my family at all. Family is my first ministry! I will have to make adjustments to my day to day plans and make room for my family. I also feel the need to really work on this now because if I move out without having properly done this, that will be the end for me. Lol.

At 24, I need to make money. Multiple streams of income. I’m looking for ways to make money outside my 9 to 5. Sometimes, I wake up thinking, “How can I make money today?” I need to be earning. So many things need money so I’m gonna have to make money.

At 24, I will be falling more and more in love with Jesus. It has been such a beautiful and fulfilling journey so far. I believe there is so much more for me to learn and discover and I’m looking forward to doing this even more. I believe I’m a much better person because of my decision to consciously follow Jesus.

At 24, I’m looking forward to seeing myself bloom. I feel like I’ve been like a flower waiting to bloom and I am finally in the process of blooming. It’s quite difficult to explain this to people who haven’t witnessed the process. I am finally learning about myself and being confident with that knowledge. Thinking about the person I am becoming and the things I will be doing just gives me goosebumps!

Finally, at 24, I’m looking forward to maintaining healthy relationships. I am looking forward to love and everything it will bring me. It will definitely be a fascinating year for sure.

You Can Also Read: 21 Things I’ve Learnt In 21 Years

24 will not be the smoothest of years. What I do know for sure is there will be redefining, stretching, blooming and growth. I’m looking forward to all that this year has to bring. I am so excited and so expectant. I am so ready for 24!

I will have a podcast episode out tomorrow where I share 24 lessons I’ve learnt at 24. Be on the lookout for it! It is highly informative and fun. I know you’ll love it.

One More Thing…

For this year’s valentine’s post, I decided to do a Q+A with a twist. Let me explain. I need you to send me whatever questions you have regarding relationships, love, breakups or anything to do with the two. When you send me a question, I will send you a list of other questions I have received and you get to pick one, give me an answer and I will share it on the blog for everyone to see. You get it? Yes? Yes! So please send me your questions via email @doseofwonani@gmail.com or via Instagram @doseofwonani. Alternatively, you can leave your questions in the comments below! I am Looking forward to hearing from you.

Do you get excited for your birthday? Yes or No? Leave a comment and let me know. Don’t forget to listen to the podcast too!

Thanks for reading,

Love,
Wonani Xx

Hello Readers! We Have News!

Hello my very lovely readers! Before I get any further into this blogpost, I just want to say Happy New Year! I hope 2023 will be kind to you and good to you. I’m pretty excited about this year. I just feel so hopeful and excited.

Your favourite blogger, and stranger, has made a return. I am not here to talk about where I was in December because there is, indeed, nothing to talk about. What I will do, however, is bring the blog back and tell you what the vision is for this year!

We Have Some Changes

I’m super excited for the blog and everything I hope to do with it this year. I’ve decided to add on to the content I already share. This last year, I decided to embark on a faith journey. Just really learning about God. My faith has always been a big part of me and really influenced who I was, my decisions, etc. Now, I want to create room for that on my blog. You will notice that I will have some faith content added to the mix. I’ll be sharing my journey, my discoveries etc. I don’t think it will feel so different or look different because I’ve really always shared about my life.

Another change I’m making this year is a change to my posting schedule. The plan last year was to post every fortnight and that did not go well at all. This year, I have a better grasp of things and I have decided to go back to posting weekly. As I was in 2021. Any changes to the schedule will be communicated.

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

You Must Fill In This Survey

As part of my efforts to revamp the blog, I made a survey for you, my lovely readers, to give your thoughts on the blog and let me know what changes you would like to see. I will work with your ideas and implement them the best way I can, hand-in-hand with my personal ideas.

You can find the survey here. Please answer all the questions honestly. I will really appreciate your feedback! Thanks in advance.

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

The Blog Had A Baby

I’m so glad to announce that the blog had a baby and Dose of Wonani: The Podcast is here!!! This may come as a surprise to those who don’t follow me on any of my social media.

We finally have the podcast I have talked about for years. This has been on my list of goals for the year for the last four years and I am so excited it is finally alive and breathing. The introductory episode as well as the official first episode is already out. If you love the blog, you’ll love the podcast!

On the podcast, I talk about the real things I’ve gone through in life, share lessons learnt, tell stories and really just have a good time with good conversation. If the comments I’ve received so far are anything to go by, you are in for a ride! Please, do listen to the two episodes that are already out here or on any other podcast streaming platform.

I will be releasing new episodes fortnightly. Look out for the next one on the 25th of January, 2023!

Finally, the blog is still open to guest posts and collaboration! I’m looking forward to working with as many people and brands as I can this year. If you would like to work with me, send me an email on doseofwonani@gmail.com.

Well, these are all the blog updates I have for now. I’m looking forward to blogging freely again this year. I hope you stick with me this year. Also, if you’re reading this and aren’t subscribed, make sure you do so that you don’t miss out on anything I share this year. Don’t forget to take part in the survey!

Thanks for reading!

Love,
Wonani Xx